Dear passionate parents,
This blog is going to be pretty controversial so please do not read if you will get easily offended ☺.
Kind regards,
a football coach who genuinely cares about the development of your children…
I was recently coaching an under 8’s team at a summer futsal competition and was proud that one of our teams finished in the top four and made it to the finals as a result. When I arrived outside the venue on the final day, I was taken aback by the sheer volume that was pouring out to the car park… It sounded like Sydney FC were playing WSW inside. When I walked inside, I was shocked and slightly embarrassed by the actions and gestures being made by the parents of some of the players who were currently playing their finals matches.
The children involved in the games were no older than 8 years old and parents were running up and down touchlines screaming in the direction of the players. Others were shouting abuse at coaches and some coaches were shouting abuse at the referee… it was complete chaos; all for a final series in a U8 summer futsal competition.
I am all for competition and understand the importance of winning but at eight years old, I do not believe that parents or coaches should be conducting themselves in such a manner.
At eight years old, a child should be encouraged to have fun. A child should be encouraged to play with a smile and there should be no pressure attached to the game. I believe that the job of a coach, which should be echoed by the parents, is to provide an enjoyable learning environment which will see a child not only learn but make them want to continue playing the beautiful game for years to come: not to feel negative emotions that has the potential to put them off the game that they love to play.
Back to my finals morning experience…
There was one game in particular generating more noise than the others; I knew it must be close. With a minute to go, a goal was scored. It wasn’t celebrated as I expected. They must be losing. 30 seconds to go, 15… a player is through on goal- he shoots, he SCORES! Australia just won the world cup, at least that’s what it sounded like. The final whistle went and it turns out the game ended in a draw.
With extra time looming, all heads turned in the same direction. With the indoor area split into four small pitches, there must have been about 100 sets of eyes on the pitch.
The first half starts and finishes. No goals. Every time the ball neared one end of the pitch, some of the adoring fans got off their seats screaming their team on and when the chance was gone, they sat back down, remembering where they were and that they were parents. It made for entertaining viewing.
The second half went in very similar fashion to the first. Some decent chances but good goalkeeping in both nets saw the scores remain tied. At the final whistle, I shook my head, not looking forward to what I was going to see in the upcoming penalty shootout.
The crowd were on their feet as the penalty shoot-out got underway- 3 penalties each:
Two penalties saw two goals, both greeted with enthusiastic cheers.
Penalty number three- GOAL.
Penalty number four- MISSED! Half the crowd went wild, celebrating an eight year old missing a penalty. The young boy, head in hands, tears pouring down his cheeks went back to his team.
Penalty number five- another miss. The other half of the crowd went mental, on their feet arms in the air. This definitely meant more to these parents than it should have.
Penalty six- goal. Sudden death beckoned and I felt so incredibly sorry for the kids who were about to take the next two spot kicks.
It was at this moment, a dad from the crowd came over and started screaming in the face of one of the coaches. I was actually concerned for the safety of the coach so started to walk towards the altercation. Thankfully it ended with finger pointing and raised voices. As the dad returned to his seat, attention turned back to the shoot-out.
Penalty seven- MISSED. Another loud cheer from the inconsiderate crowd left a third boy breaking his heart.
Penalty eight- GOAL. We had a winner and the passionate parents made sure everyone within 100metres of the venue knew. The players who missed their penalties for the losing team broke down again as the parents, 30years their senior celebrated.
Now I ask you, are you one of those parents? A parent who cares so much about winning youth competitions that you completely disregard the feelings of all the other children involved who do not belong to you?
Do you care so much about telling your friends:
“my child won a medal”
that you lose yourself completely in a moment, embarrass yourself, then go back to normal life?
You may think what I am saying is harsh, but I genuinely believe that parents like these are a HUGE problem in the development of Australia’s young football players. Acting like this does nothing for your children and from the outside, it looks like your ego gets a little boost. GOOD JOB!
For me, at eight years old, a child should have a love affair with a ball. It should bring nothing but happiness to their life. Their experiences at a young age determine what they will continue to do as they grow and develop as humans and as a coach, I sincerely wish that every child has such positive experiences through football that they cannot imagine life without it!
You, parents, have a huge role to play in this. Behaviour like what I witnessed on this morning in December may cause some children to lock themselves away and play fortnite. It may be the reason why your child stops being active.
If, in two year time, your child stops playing the game you thought they loved, I am willing to bet you will source someone else to blame and find a reason why it is their fault. The reality is, it could well be your own.
Stop putting pressure on your kids. An under 8’s futsal competition is not the be all and end all. An under 12 Sap season will not determine your child’s path in football. What will determine their path in football is their feelings towards the game.
Parents. Please make these feelings positive. Your actions often speak louder than your words and have an impact on other children, not just your own. Please conduct yourselves in a good manner which will have a positive impact on the LEARNING environment your child’s coach is trying to create. It is more important than you will ever know.
Kind regards,
A concerned coach